


Anonymous Asked:

by evol_love



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Tumblr, Blogger AU, F/M, M/M, Sexist Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 18:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3539231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evol_love/pseuds/evol_love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which all the NMTD characters are bloggers rather than vloggers, and what starts as just some friends chatting on Tumblr turns into an accidental fandom? Yeah, they don't know either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anonymous Asked:

**Author's Note:**

> After two weeks of marathoning, and then rewatching, NMTD, I just had to write this fic. There are SIGNIFICANT (like really REALLY significant) departures from the canon storyline, and if you're concerned about big changes in the plot affecting your enjoyment, I made a quick list in the end notes, so read those. Obviously they are spoilers, though, so if you want to just dive in, do that. None of the changes are negative (at least in my mind) so don't worry that, like, I put Bea with Claudio or something ridiculous. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this! I honestly can't believe how much I wrote in the span of about a week. 
> 
> Yeah so as I said in the summary, this is an AU where everyone is a tumblr blogger, and then they gain a following that they don't quite understand (but which Ben embraces, of course). the fic is told entirely through blog posts, reblogs, comments, likes, and messages. I hope the formatting is clear, as well as who is posting what. I did everything I could to make it clear, but if you think something needs clarifying, please feel free to let me know and I'll try to resolve it.
> 
> Content warning for gendered slurs/sexist language (not more severe than anything in canon but still worth a mention because ugh) and, with that, a bit of bullying of someone totally innocent and sweet. There are apologies and reconciliations though.

_“Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you”_

_I’m Balthazar. 18. New Zealand. Music is my life. This is supposedly just for me posting my songs and covers, but I answer asks and reblog my friends sometimes as well._

 

 **Anonymous asked:** hey balthazar! i LOOOVE ur music so much, and i just wanted to know, where do you get your inspiration from?

 **themightybalthazar said:** Thanks :) I don’t know, it sort of depends on the song. A lot of them just come from my relationships with my friends, with the people around me, just my connections with people. I think music is the most honest thing in the world: there’s nothing quite like pouring your heart out into a song, so all of my music is very genuine. I’ll write songs when I have something in my mind that I can’t stop thinking about or that I need to work through, just anything or anyone I feel strongly about at the time. Thanks so much for asking and for your kind words.

ursulafilms said: balth, write meeee a song, don’t u have genuine emotions for MEEEE???????????

themightybalthazar said: of course I do! but I can’t just write songs, they have to happen.

 

ursulafilms reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: wowwwwwwwwww. #musicians

 

balthazarjonesismylife reblogged this from ursulafilms and added: OMG otp otp otp

with 30 notes

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_“a bird of my tongue > a beast of yours”_

_Hello people of the internet! I’m Beatrice. I post Game of Thrones and rant about social justice/my life. I’m 18, live in New Zealand, and I love pizza. She/her/hers._

 

Ughhhhh I could never date a man with a beard, like, dudes grow beards because they think it makes them SOOOOOO manly when in reality they just look disgusting and can you imagine kissing that? ew no thanks. tbh tho if a dude can’t grow a beard he’s probs too young for me ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯   

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_mrs-herodarcy said: oh Bea, you’ll come around one day <3_

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: oh my GOD do u even REALIZE how hypocritical ur being smh no is ever gonna fit ur GRAAAAAND criteria. NO ONE. someone has a beard? nada. someone doesnt have a beard? NADA also. whats wrong with beards???? u made a paradox for urself tbh

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: Beards are just kind of CREEPY, they look like a half-grown porcupine on your face. Look, I understand me. We all know I’m gonna be the awesome old aunt with a million cats living alone forever.

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: REBUTTAL: you can see that your argument is flawed, right?

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: at least I don’t have a neon pink and orange theme u tea-loving meninist

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_claudiosmith said: SHIT ben i think u just got owned_

_voteforpedro said: i need to go get popcorn this is amazing to watch_

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: tht wasnt even clever. the difference between us, bea, is i am a knight in shining armor handing out flowers to the poor, i make jokes and crack wise while YOU are a mean-spirited old dragon who destroys peace and prosperity in her wake, burning insults firing from her mouth. i’ve seen deep into your heart and you feel nothing.

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: also im in the market for new bffs, put applications in my inbox

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_“IT’S THE BEN SHOW!”_

_ben - 19 - doctor who - birds - tea - gryffindor_

_originally from england but currently living it up in nz. follow me for funny shit and random conversations with my loser friends._

 

 **Anonymous asked:** Hey Ben, are you dating anyone ;)

 **benaddicktion said:** uh, no, relationships make people boooooooring (just ask my traitor friend @claudiosmith) seriously will i never meet another bachelor again? the ladies do love me tho ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) it’s too bad i have to keep breaking their hearts :P all i want to be is free and single (maybe have some flings idk...)

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_“i have no idea what i’m doing”_

_Claudio, 19, male. I only made this because Hero made me so I would follow her (she’s mrs-herodarcy, go follow her and love her (but not too much—she’s mine!))._

 

@mrs-herodarcy is the cutest pass it on

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_bea-quiet said: grosssss (tru, but grosssss)_

_benaddicktion said: what is happening to you man :(_

 

@mrs-herodarcy and I are hanging out and drinking tea :D

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_bea-quiet said: im very happy for you NOW STOP POSTING EVERY TWO MINUTES_

 

@mrs-herodarcy is making me cookies i am the luckiest guy in the world (and not just because of the baked goods)

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_bea-quiet said: OH MY GOD_

_benaddicktion said: OH MY GOD_

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_“We Are All Fools In Love”_

_Hi! I’m Hero <3 She/her/hers pronouns please! I post a lot of kittens and recipes and, yes, there will be selfies :o) Be sure to go follow my cousin Bea bea-quiet while you’re at it!_

my boyfriend does my make-up (✿◠‿◠) ([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_h2P898q9k&list=PLgtRIWtmHefNSmhLGzm87bM6AKzWvD-ls&index=29)) @claudiosmith

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_bea-quiet said: I AM UNFOLLOWING YOU BOTH I SWEAR_

_benaddicktion said: this is literally the worst thing i have ever watched_

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 **Anonymous asked:** Are you and ursulafilms dating?

 **themightybalthazar said:** Me and Ursula? Haha no, she’s just my bff :)

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 **Anonymous asked:** omg r u dating ursula???????

 **themightybalthazar said:** No she’s just my friend.

**Anonymous asked:** are you dating anybody? can we expect some love songs soon? ;)

 **themightybalthazar said:** Nope, just married to my music :P

 

 **Anonymous asked:** is ursulafilms your girlfriend?

 **themightybalthazar said:** Ursula, you are extremely popular today! No guys, Ursula and I are, have been, and always will be best friends.

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_ursulafilms reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: you should be so lucky :P i’m a catch._

 

**A bit of a break from tradition here**

Hey guys. This isn’t a music post, sorry (although there is a new song coming soon!) but I think there are a couple things I think I need to say.

My personal life has nothing to do with this blog. I made this to get my music out there and give my Youtube channel more exposure, and I don’t know how all this speculation about my dating life got involved. In general, I like to let the songs speak (sing) for themselves.

However, recently there’s been a lot of people asking me if I’m dating my best friend Ursula, or posts saying they “ship” us, so just to clarify: I am not and will not be dating her. Not now, not ever. Because I’m gay, guys.

I decided to come out on my blog because I want to go back to the music here. I always have preached that music is the most honest thing in the world, but I haven’t been completely honest with you. I love that you all love my music, and I want to be able to share everything with you without censoring myself.

This doesn’t change anything about the content of my songs or this blog. I will still be posting songs and covers, I will still be whining about composer’s block, and I will not suddenly become a rainbow-striped political blog. While I do consider myself an activist, I don’t necessarily feel the need to make that a part of my blog here.

Thank you all for understanding, and if you don’t, the unfollow button is in the upper right corner. <3

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_ursulafilms said: i’m so proud of you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3_

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_mrs-herodarcy said: you’re one of the most talented, amazing, bravest people I know. we will always support you, I hope you know that <3_

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_benaddicktion said: if anyone bugs u lemme kno claud and pedro and i will FIGHT THEM_

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_voteforpedro said: text me if u need anything okay?_

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_“Vote For Pedro”_

_Hello all, I’m Pedro, I’m 18 and all the vote for Pedro stuff is only mostly a joke, as I am running for student leader but you can only vote if you actually go to my school :( This blog is just a collection of stuff/people i like/think are cool. Hope you like it!_

 

“An all-around great guy.” -Bea

#testimonials

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 **Anonymous asked:** OMG WHO DID YOU KILL TO GET THIS URL???

 **voteforpedro said:** *looks into the camera like i’m on the office*

 

hanging out with @themightybalthazar and @claudiosmith WITHOUT @benaddicktion because he is being very silly and is currently lying on the floor of my room wrapped in a blanket

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_bea-quiet said: pics or it didn’t happen_

 

when your friends are ignoring everyone except one another and gazing into each other’s eyes and your're all in the background like the Muses in Hercules

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 **Anonymous asked:** i just wanted to say thanks. you gave me the courage to come out to my friends, and they were all super cool about it and i feel so much better, and it’s all thanks to you. love your music btw!

 **themightybalthazar said:** Wow, this is AMAZING to hear, thank you so much for telling me. I’m proud of you. And give yourself some credit too: I might have inspired you, but you were the one brave enough to do it.

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_voteforpedro said: look at you, changing lives. The mighty Balthazar._

 

 **Anonymous asked:** Besides Ursula, who would you say are your best friends?

 **themightybalthazar said:** Oh gosh, I have a lot of really great friends! Ursula’s friend Meg is quite sweet, and her boyfriend Robbie’s football mates are great. @voteforpedro shows up at all my gigs which is great, and Claudio and Ben are totally ridiculous, but they’re good friends as well. @bea-quiet and @mrs-heroduke are also incredibly lovely ladies.

 

 **Anonymous asked:** are you and pedro dating O.O

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

**Anonymous asked:** are you dating anyone right now?

 **themightybalthazar said:** Haha no. Like I said before, I’m pretty much married to my music. Not that I would be opposed to a relationship, but no guys are currently in any rush to date me, so. There you have it.

_voteforpedro: well they’re stupid, you’re amazing_

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 **ilovethekiwisquad asked:** so you seem to be friends with a lot of your fellow new zealanders, but it’s sort of confusing--do you all know each other irl??? love your blog!

 **bea-quiet said:** okay, so I live with my cousin Hero @mrs-herodarcy and we go to school with @voteforpedro and @claudiosmith (and, unfortunately, @benaddicktion). @queen-meg and @ursulafilms go to a different school along with @themightybalthazar but we know them because Meg is dating this guy Robbie who used to play football with the guys.

_kiwisquaad reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: AT LAST! WE UNDERSTAND!_

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oh my god...i think i’m a fandom...what is my liiiiife????

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_benaddicktion said: AND IM A FAN FAVORITE SUUUUCK IT_

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_queen-meg said: and im the real star so dont get cocky_

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_voteforpedro: what is benpedro...is it what i think it is...im gonna go try to forget this ever happened..._

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 **claudiosmithshair asked:** you and claudio are so cute you’re like a beautiful ray of sunshine

 **mrs-herodarcy said:** awww you’re so sweet, thank you xoxo I can’t pretend to understand why my friends and I are suddenly so popular, but it is very flattering, I have to say.

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_“IT’S THE BEN SHOW!”_

_ben - 18 - doctor who - birds - tea - gryffindor -KIWI SQUAD_

_Originally from England but currently living it up in NZ. Yes I am “Kiwi Squad” Ben._

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** oh my god did you seriously change your description to pander to this ridiculous internet fame thing?

 **benaddicktion said:** ahh see the difference between you and I is I give the people what they want *throws glitter*

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: don’t cry to me when a crowd of fifteen year olds turn up on your doorstep begging for your autograph and first born child.

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_"The Kiwi Squad (Un)Official Tumblr"_

_please note that this is a fan run tumblr. we are not affiliated with anyone in the kiwi squad and no offense is intended towards anyone involved._

**About:**

What is The Kiwi Squad? They’re a group of bloggers from New Zealand that are all friends and get up to all kinds of hilarious hi-jinks. Their blogs and descriptions can be found below:

Hero (@mrs-herodarcy): She’s an actual ray of sunshine, loves cats and baking, and is dating Claudio. She lives with her brother and Bea, who is her cousin. She makes A LOT of posts and posts a lot of pictures of group hangouts, so definitely follow her if you’re new to the fandom!

Bea (@bea-quiet): Bea is very outspoken, a self-proclaimed feminist and activist, and very proudly single. She lives with Hero and often posts selfies with her. She also gets into a lot of squabbles on her blog, particularly with Ben (they don’t seem to agree on anything!). She loves sci-fi and Game of Thrones as well, and writes/reblogs a lot of really cool meta and commentary.

Claudio (@claudiosmith): He is currently dating Hero and is best friends with Ben and Pedro, with whom he plays football. He doesn’t post very often, but when he does, it’s about Hero. They’re very sweet and have posted a few Youtube videos together, including the infamous “My boyfriend does my makeup” video.

Ben (@benaddicktion): Ben is very loud and colorful, and really loves birds. He’s English and loves Doctor Who and tea (he’s one of us guys!!!). He gets into a lot of fights with Bea (although many have speculated this is actually flirting...) and is close friends with Claudio and Pedro.

Pedro (@voteforpedro): Pedro has been called a lot things: the prince of fandom, an all-around great guy, and many more. Everyone loves Pedro (proven by his recent election as student leader at the school a portion of the Squad attends) and he loves everyone in return. He and Ben hang out a lot and there are a great many immortal posts from their many adventures.

Balthazar (@themightybalthazar): Balth primarily runs a music blog, and he’s extremely talented. He writes a lot of his own music, as well as posts covers of his favorite songs. He came out as gay on his blog after speculation he was dating his best friend Ursula and was supported fully by the rest of The Kiwi Squad, but has also said he is currently single.

Ursula (@ursulafilms): Ursula is a budding film student and an aspiring film maker, as well as best friends with Balthazar. After Balthazar came out, she also came out as asexual. The two are very close and very supportive of each other. She is also good friends with Meg.

Meg (@queen-meg) Meg is the very sexy, very funny final member of the Kiwi Squad. She is dating a guy named Robbie who apparently once played football with the rest of the guys. He is not on tumblr, but Meg has posted a lot of pictures of him on her blog, though they seem to be a bit on again/off again.

**About the mods:**

The moderators of this blog are Dogberry and Verges, who also run the Sherlock fanblog the--watch.

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**promo time!**

heyyyy my brother got a tumblr! check him out at @thejohnthatnobodyknows

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lol, url change: john decided his url was too long so you can now follow him @johnsnightmare (little dark, i think, but there you go). I’ll be showing him the ropes, so you can be sure it’ll be a great blog ;)

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**Hero <3 Claudio**

Hello everyone! :) I am joined by my lovely guest blogger/boyfriend extraordinaire Claudio. We decided to do a couple tag game together today, so click under the cut to see our responses for this couple game :))) <3 <3

_read more_

Okay so if that didn’t put Bea and Ben off, NOTHING will.

Introducing Team Love Gods: @themightybalthazar, @ursulafilms, @queen-meg, @voteforpedro, and Claudio and I.

So what this all boils down to is that we’ve all had it up to here with Bea and Ben’s ridiculous form of flirting and we have decided to get them together. We are doing this stealthily so please DO NOT BLOW THIS. It will be for all of our benefits if they finally own up to liking each other.

Testimonials:

“ben spent an HOUR talking to me about one thing bea said. THEN she spent an hour talking about what HE said in response.” -Pedro

“Ben tried to get me to write a song about what a bitch she is but wouldn’t admit it was about her. Can you imagine the return song she would write?” -Balthazar

“It’s DESTINY.” -me

So here’s the deal, courtesy of the ever-brilliant Ursula: we are going to let them ~conveniently~ overhear us telling one another that they like each other so they think they’re being sooo clever by finding out on their own. We will keep you all posted.

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 **Anonymous asked:** Ben, weird question time: Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses? I looove ur blog!!! You’re so cute.

 **benaddicktion said:** Well thank you and _thank you_. To answer your question: obviously a horse-sized duck. No question.

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: Uhm? No. 100 duck-sized horses is clearly a better option oh my god, you could just kick them out of your way.

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: LISTEN. I have STUDIED DUCKS. I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING HERE. You can headbutt them and they will think you’re their mother and I would do that and then ride it to school. Done. I win.

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: why tf have you studied ducks? And the question was about fighting them, not taming them, so I am still the winner here.

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: I am abandoning this battle (this is NOT a ceasefire, don’t get too excited, lady disdain) because I have better things to do like hang out with the guys. peace out. *flies away*

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: That’s it. From this day forth I am no longer reading your blog. Consider your url blacklisted.

 

_read mo re_

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god i just overheard thing i was not meant to hear and im kind of freAKING OUT??????????? WTF??????????????? F U C K.

 

_read more_

OKay okay so im TRYING TO THINK ABOUT THIS in a ~rational~ way and like okay: so maybe gfs are like olives???? so like, i used to HATE olives right but then pedro and claud dared me to eat a bunch and now I REALLY LIKE OLIVES???? so like idk tastes can change blah blah

BUT THIS IS BEATRICE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE.

 

_read more_

oh no

 

_read more_

i think i might...oh no....

 

_read more_

i do oh no I DOOOOOO

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 **mrs-herodarcy asked:** Did you see Ben’s read mores?

 **claudiosmith answered privately:** yes oh my god it worked! All is going according to plan. We are a w e s o m e. Team Love Gods celebration tonight? I’m paying :)

 

I love my girlfriend

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I just honestly feel bad for Ben. Like, the other guys are single because they either haven’t found the right person or they’re caught up in a lot of insignificant silly stuff that’s barring them from being happy and they should just tell the person they’re into that they like them already because seriously we know okay, but Ben is single out of sheer stubbornness. Seriously! Don’t knock love ‘til you try it. It’s amazing.

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benaddicktion reblogged this from claudiosmith and added: i don’t appreciate what ur implying c-dog. i AM happy thank u i dont neeeeeed a girlfriend. i have floyd.

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bendioshipperforlife reblogged this from claudiosmith and added: what does this mean oh my god is this claudio begging ben to stop dragging his feet and realize that claudio loves him?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! CANON

 

kiwisquaad reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: wait who is floyd?

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bea-quiet reblogged this from thekiwisquadofficial and added: Oh you sweet summer children, please don’t get your fangirlish hearts too excited. Floyd is a plastic flamingo.

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: you dont understand our BOND

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: I really don’t want to know, either

 

claudiosmith reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: What the hell have you all done to my post? IT REBLOGS AS A LINK NOW. A LINK.

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**It’s new song day!**

*embedded video*

**An Ode - by Balthazar Jones**

Lyrics are under the cut. I hope you like it.

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voteforpedro reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: ha! this is hilarious balthy! you always know how to cheer me up :)

 

 **Anonymous asked:** are you dating Pedro?

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

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_read more_

........I really don’t know how to feel right now guys. I’ve heard some things today and part of me doesn’t believe them but part of me kind of...does? And if it’s true...well...

 

_read more_

Ughhhh this is so weiiiiirrrrrdddddd what is this feeeeeeling I want it to stop can’t everything just be normal?

 

**When you play the game of cookies, you bake or you die**

Hero and I are going to make cookies now so I am logging off. Ursula, don’t bother reading those read mores from earlier, there are some rather unpopular opinions about The Great Gatsby. And Hero, I also talk about your birthday present SO DON’T READ THEM OKAY?  Okay. Cookies.

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 **voteforpedro asked:** Hey, did Balth lose his phone or sth? He hasn’t texted me back in like two days.

 **ursulafilms answered privately:** No he’s been hanging out with me

 

 **voteforpedro asked:** Oh. Is he, like, mad at me?

 **ursulafilms answered privately:** Why don’t you just come over and talk to him, yeah?

 

 **voteforpedro asked:** He’s mad at me isn’t he :(

 **ursulafilms answered privately:** No, I don’t think he is, actually. Just come talk to him, okay? He’s got a gig on saturday, come see him :) He’ll like that.

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totally whiny bullshit about how grr i am about needing a boyfriend under the cut

_read more_

Okay, so Hero probably isn’t reading this now, so I can speak freely.

I think i might possibly be experiencing...feelings. But I don’t know the first thing about this, I don’t know what to do or say, I don’t want to make things weird, and god, I hate this. I hate feeling weak and vulnerable and fragile, I hate that I’m probably giving him the power to hurt me, that if I do anything I am voluntarily giving him means to crush me again.

But the scariest part is, I don’t think he will. I don’t think he would want to. And I have no idea what to do about that.

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So today, @claudiosmith and I were at the movies and guess who decided to join us? Yes, it was none other than the great(ly annoying) @benaddicktion. Seriously Ben? Reaching between us to eat some of our popcorn?

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_bea-quiet said: oh my goddddd you were beneDICK-blocked_

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_xoxoclaudio said: oh my god you didn’t have to make this a public post why are you all so mean to Ben oh my god_

 

 **Anonymous asked:** you’re such a bitch oh my god you don’t deserve Claudio

 **mrs-herodarcy said:** I’m really sorry you feel this way anon, I don’t know what I did to warrant this but Claudio and I are very happy and I don’t think you really know enough about us or our relationship to really have a say in it.

 

bea-quiet reblogged this from mrs-herodarcy and added: YOU BETTER FUCKING HOPE I DON’T FIND YOU ANON, I WILL FUCKING END YOU. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

 

claudiosmith reblogged this from mrs-herodarcy and added: she’s my girlfriend, thanks, I think it’s up to me whether or not she “deserves” me. I really like Hero, so you can fuck off honestly.

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benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: I second that. I love my fans, but hate of any kind is really not acceptable, especially cowardly anon hate like this. don’t bully my friends. I feel a little guilty that some of this might be inadvertently my fault judging by some of your comments on Hero’s recent post, and let me be very clear here: bullying my friends will not make me like you. Got it?

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 **Anonymous asked:** your a fucking slut claudio can do better

 **mrs-herodarcy said:** I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please leave me alone.

 

 **Anonymous asked:** oh my god just shut up and delete ur blog no one likes you

 **mrs-herodarcy said:** Please stop

 

 **Anonymous asked:** ur friends are all better than u they are all funny and hot and ur just a dumb slut all u ever post about is claudio oh my god delete

 **mrs-herodarcy said:** Stop

 

 **Anonymous asked:** you are so whiny and annoying oh my god i wasnt gonna be the first one to say it but since everyone else is being honest, no one likes you

 **mrs-herodarcy said:** I don't understand where this is all coming from, please stop messaging me

 

_**~23 new messages~** _

 

In light of recent events, I am turning off anonymous messaging on my blog. Thank you for understanding.

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_bea-quiet said: i am so angry i love you so much please don’t listen to them_

_claudiosmith said: <3 I’m sorry this happened_

_themightybalthazar said: i know it’s not much, but i’m writing you a song :) feel better_

_voteforpedro said: you’re the kindest person i know, who would do this?_

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

**An open letter to the person(s?) who are bullying my cousin:**

Fuck. Off. You don’t know anything about her life or who she is, and you have no right to do and say what you did. You are an absolute coward for going on anonymous and harassing a girl you’ve never even met. You better  hope I never find out who you are because I will get you deleted, I will get you blocked, I will get you completely thrown out of your “fandom,” that is a promise.

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 **Anonymous asked:** why are you dating hero she’s so ugly

 **claudiosmith said:** i think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world

 

 **Anonymous asked:** ur girlfriend is a biiiiiiitch. date someone better.

 **claudiosmith said:** i don’t want to date someone else, i want to be with Hero

 

 **Anonymous asked:** Hero is a BITCH and a SLUT u can do so much better claudio ;)

 **claudiosmith said:** why would i be interested in someone bullying the girl i'm in love with? leave Hero alone.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Going on hiatus**

Hey guys, Hero here. I'm going to be going on a hiatus for awhile. I need a break from this blog. It's fun, and I really like talking to all of you and posting here, but it recently got not-so-fun. To whomever has been sending me anonymous messages: I hope you will consider your actions before you hit send next time you want to be nasty to someone. I won't pretend that I'm not very hurt by your attack on me, and I hope it will not be an issue going forward, for me or my friends.

To those of you who have been sending me kind words, thank you. I really appreciate it.

Good bye for now,

Hero

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_read more_

So here's the thing: let's suppose that there's this girl whom I hypothetically don't hate spending time with. What do I do??!?!?!?!?

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**pedroforpresident asked:** Hey Ben! Love your blog and the Kiwi Squad :) I was just wondering--how did you and Beatrice first meet?

 **benaddicktion said:** ha, so pedro and i were super close bros when we were like 14 (still are but u know) and we like tried this blood oath ANYWAY: she was visiting hero for the summer (she used to live in wellington but moved her like a year ago) and we were really good friends, actually, but she started getting all??? distant???? idk why, idk if i did something, anyway, the point is, she started avoiding me and then we kinda grew apart and now we are as you see here. whatever i have claudio now  <3 luv u

_claudiosmith said: according to hero this is called “queer baiting” jsyk_

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 **Anonymous asked:** So, hypothetically, if there was this guy, and he thinks he might really really like his friend, like, a lot, what would you say to that? I’m asking you because I know you’d be the best one to talk this guy out of that, hypothetically, because you did that with claudio at first,  not that I know you or anything oh fuck forget it dee2c8   ohgk7;.[l]\

 **benaddicktion said:** you okay there friend?

 

 **Anonymous asked:** FUCK my cat walked on my keyboard i didn’t mean to send that last one just ignore me!

 **benaddicktion said:** Well, hypothetically, I would say this: single=MUCHOS GOOD relationships=FUCKING TERRIBLE

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 **Anonymous asked:** HEY BALTHY do you take commissions? It's okay if you dont BUT i think your music is awwwwwesooommmeee and it would mean a lot bro

 **themightybalthazar said:** Why would you go on anon when you make it that obvious who you are? Text me, I'll see what I can do.

 

 **Anonymous asked:** Sooo, if I wanted to ask you to help me with a song, would you be interested in helping?

 **themightybalthazar said:** Text me oh my god honestly

 

 **Anonymous asked:** “An Ode” is AMAZING, Balthazar, you’re so so talented, and this song felt so heartfelt and lovely.

 **themightybalthazar said:** thanks so much :) that song seemed to write itself, it came very naturally.

 

 **Anonymous asked:** are you and voteforpedro dating??????

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

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 **Anonymous asked:** any idea when hero is coming back???? :(

 **claudiosmith said:** So here’s the thing: Hero is very sick. All the stress and pain caused to her by these messages combined with some other health problems have actually landed her in the hospital, and I don’t know when she’s going to come home. If you have any information about the anons, that would be very much appreciated.

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**Project For Hero**

Bea here. So I feel really helpless about all this stuff with Hero, and it’s even worse because Hero is the sweetest human being in the world and she’s so upset. Any of you out there that love Hero and appreciate her, I have an idea: I’ve created the blog @projectforhero, and if you want to submit anything: art, videos, photos, messages, poetry, kind words, anything at all, that would be really cool. I’ll collect it all there to show to her and hopefully she’ll be encouraged by seeing how many people support her and care for her. Please submit something, even if it’s just “get well soon.” She’ll love to hear from you guys.

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benaddicktion reblogged this from bea-quiet and added: It would really mean a lot to me if you all took a moment to send some positivity Hero’s way. She’s one of the loveliest girls I know and she doesn’t deserve any of this.

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_PROJECT FOR HERO_

_A collection of submissions from fans and friends of Hero mrs-herodarcy. Get well soon, Hero <3_

 

 **herodukedefensesquad submitted:**  Here, I did this drawing awhile back of Hero after she posted that video of her and Claudio doing makeup. i hope you like it! Feel better Hero! You may be kind and love flowers and baking and cute things, but you’re also one of the strongest people out there. We all miss you and hope you make a speedy recovery. <3

 

 **claudero-life submitted:** So sorry to hear you aren’t well!!!! Take your time to recover but know that your friends (and fans!) are rooting for you!!!! I hope you like this sketch I did, it's not much but hopefully it makes you smile.

 

 **Anonymous asked:** <3 Get well soon Hero

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** hey hero. i know i’ve been ‘round to see you a few times but i thought i’d add a little something here. i hope you get better soon, because you are the last person in the world who deserves to be sad. i’m glad you have bea by your side; she’s a really great cousin. really great person. both of you are. anyway, i’m sure you’ll be back and teasing me for my incessant bird blogging and rolling your eyes at me crashing your dates in no time. cheers.

 

 **voteforpedro asked:** I still don’t understand who would ever do something like this to you, but regardless, they have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about and we all love you. You are essential to Messina and to the “Kiwi Squad” or whatever they’re calling us. Irreplaceable. Bea and Claudio miss you especially. Get well soon. :)

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**Song For Hero**

Hey guys, I think a lot of you have heard that my friend Hero is in the hospital. This one’s for her. Sigh no more, Hero. We all love you.

*embedded video*

**"Sigh Not So" by Balthazar Jones**

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voteforpedro reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: another song by Balthazar. Genuine as always.

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 **Anonymous asked:** So...you and Pedro...?

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

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...i think john blocked me????

_benaddicktion said: wtf????_

_claudiosmith said: isnt he literally ur brother tho?_

 

i don’t know what’s going on i’m kind of freaking out

_themightybalthazar said: call me_

_benaddicktion said: come over if u need to, claud’s here too_

 

so for those of you who dont know, john (previously @johnsnightmare but he has sinced changed his url and i dont know what it is now) is my half-brother and i have no idea what’s going on with him but he hasn’t been home in two days and he’s completely shutting me out of everything and my parents are worried about him and i’m really freaked out so if anyone knows ANYTHING please message me immediately

_claudiosmith said: so sorry bro_

_bea-quiet said: :( Let me know if I can help_

_bennaddicktion  said: feel free to drop by whenever if u need to_

_themightybalthazar said: I am here for you any time you need me. Just call. I’ll be there._

_\-------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST**

@the--watch has been working diligently to discover the mystery of the mean anons AND WE HAVE SOME EVIDENCE TO SUBMIT

@bea-quiet @voteforpedro @claudiosmith @queen-meg @ursulafilms @benaddicktion @themightybalthazar @mrs-herodarcy

After a brief, minor inconveniencing of one “Robbie” we have discovered that this plot against Hero involved a certain “John” that goes to your school. That is all we have so far, but the Watch will not rest until Hero receives justice!

_claudiosmith said: im kind of creeped out_

_voteforpedro: if this is what i think it is i feel sick_

_benaddicktion said: oh my god_

_bea-quiet said: fuck_

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**PROJECT FOR HERO - Update**

We just want to thank everyone who sent in submissions, you were all beyond kind and we received more messages and selfies and videos etc. than we ever imagined. The support for Hero has been a tremendous help.

We are pleased to say Hero is coming home today. (!) She is still a bit fragile at the moment, but the doctors are releasing her, and she is in SIGNIFICANTLY better spirits, a huge part of which is because of your messages. Thank you all <3

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I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d like to thank @benaddicktion for being there for me during a really tough time. These past couple weeks without Hero constantly by my side have been scary, and I don’t think I could have done it without you there.

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_benaddicktion said: it was an honor love. and you didn’t need me. you’re the toughest person i know. but i’m glad i was helpful, nonetheless._

_\---------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_“Welcome to My Twisted Mind”_

_John. Whatever._

**Confession**

you all think i’m “depressed” but how can i be depressed if everything is okay. you’re all content and quiet, never shouting, always tiptoeing around each other and apologizing.

and then theres you pedro. you.

you’re so fucking perfect. you’re friends with everyone in the school, you’re good at school and soccer, youre always happy.

and you just love telling me how not perfect i am. you never tried to understand, you just wanted me to be exactly like you.

“normal”

just make me fucking play along.

but thats not “normal” thats you.

so i figured out how to hurt you.

your friends, your stupid little “squad” it’s so easy to tear you apart, just two messages in an inbox and you all fall to pieces. and perfect pedro, the “all-around great guy” is in the middle of all of this watching everything he built burn.

i hate them almost as much as i hate you.

but not hero. i only sent the first two messages, you have to believe me, i only wanted to provoke claudio i didnt want her to get attacked like that, i didnt. i shouldnt have. look, i didnt know, i didnt know she was already sick. i didnt think she would fall apart like the rest of you, okay? she wasnt supposed to. it wasnt supposed to be like this.

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_read more_

i want to delete i feel sick oh my god oh my god oh my god

_themightybalthazar said: breathe pedro, breathe. i know you’re blaming yourself right now but this is not your fault. you never wanted this to happen. it’s okay, please call me, text me, come over, something, just please please stop beating yourself up. please.  just call me, please._

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 **Anonymous asked:** Hey Balthazar, I know this is nosy, but I was just wondering, are you and voteforpedro dating? If not, is Pedro single? ;)

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I’m back!**

This has all been such a disastrous mess, so let’s wrap this up once and for all and keep going:

I am okay now. I was a bit unwell, but I have returned. I will be keeping anonymous messages off, however, as I don’t want to invite problems back into my life, even if the root of this one was discovered.

I have forgiven John, as well as anyone else who might have been involved. I don’t approve of or understand why you did what you did, but I’m more concerned with moving forward and letting go of the past. I’m moving on, and I hope you all are too.

All’s well that ends well, right?

A HUGE thank you to everyone who participated in the Project For Hero that Bea set up. I read/watched/looked at every single submission, and quite a few brought tears to my eyes. You’re all so sweet and I am so lucky to have incredibly kind people in my life. Especially my friends. Kiwi Squad forever. <3

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_voteforpedro said: i am so so sorry hero. i’m so glad you’re back._

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**SONG (Beatrice You’re Vivacious) by Benedick Hobbes**

We are all lucky enough to have a guest artist with us today. Please enjoy the musical stylings of @benaddicktion, accompanied by me on the ukulele.

*embedded video*

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beaandben reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: HOLY FUCK THE VIDEO THAT BROKE THE INTERNET

 

**Way to Tell You by Beatrice Duke**

You’re all lucky enough to get TWO new songs today! This one features guest artist @bea-quiet along with myself. Enjoy.

*embedded video*

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mrs-herodarcy reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: OH MY GOD

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 **bea-quiet asked:** soooooo

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** So?

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** Obviously we don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it or anything, but I was thinking maybe we could post something about us? Maybe?

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** define “post” and “us” love

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** What is there to define? I feel it’s pretty apparent.

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** i want to hear u say it :D

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** Ben. You can’t hear me. This is an ask.

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** :((( ur nooo fun

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** Look. I want to make a post about how we’re sort of together now, is that okay?

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** ”””sort of””” together???!!!

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** BENEDICK SERIOUSLY.

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** ok i know im messing with u but im also kind of being serious here: what are we? what do you think of us? i know we talked about this and there was, you know, kissing, and, you know, the singing thing. but like...u always said u didnt want a bf so? im sorry. im just confused.

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** Ugh, I want to date you, you fool, what part of that doesn’t make sense?

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

 

 **bea-quiet asked:** Oh my god why do I like you

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** OMG u liiiiiike meeeeee

**bea-quiet asked:** I take it all back

 **benaddicktion answered privately:** no u dont.  <3 neither do i. yeah, go ahead and make the post.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Not much left to say**

Pretty much all the questions and confusion from the recent events among my friends and I have been answered and clarified for you all, but I have one last, important post to make. Yes, Ben @benaddicktion and I are dating now. No, this is not an invitation for any “I told you so”s. I just wanted to share that with you all because, as bad as this has all been at times, some good came from it too. Hero’s happy, I’m happy, Ben sure seems to be happy, and, I don’t know, life almost feels boring now without all the drama. Not that I want it back--believe me, I’d rather have nothing much to do.

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_mrs-herodarcy said: I love you both <3_

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voteforpedro reblogged this from benaddicktion and added: HA. Your blog description should say “This is the blog of Ben: a committed boyfriend”

 

benaddicktion reblogged this from voteforpedro and added: god, you soooooooooooo need to get a gf bro, u have no idea how much ur missing

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 **Anonymous asked:** Hey Balthazar. This might be too personal and you don’t have to answer, but how did you know you were gay?

 **themightybalthazar said:** That’s alright anon, I don’t mind. It was nothing big or like one sudden “aha” moment, I just realized around Year 8 or so that I liked this guy in one of my classes, and once I figured out it was attraction and not just friendship I felt, I knew I hadn't ever really felt that for a girl at all. It was kind of gradual, but it was okay, I talked to my mum about it in Year 9 and she was pretty cool.

If you're questioning your sexuality (which I assume is the reason you're asking), don't be scared. You aren't alone, I promise you. Try talking to someone you trust, maybe just bring up something related to gauge their reaction before telling them if you're nervous they won't respond well. But no matter what, please please know that there is nothing wrong with you. You're okay. I promise.

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 **Anonymous asked:** Hey Balthazar! I love your music! I’m new to the fandom and I was just wondering if you and Pedro are together?

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

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**John’s home**

Thanks to everyone who sent me kind messages while I was in a really bad place. I’m going to be offline for a few days while the family and I try to pick things back up.

Pedro out

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**please don’t reblog**

John has formally apologized to me. He and Pedro both, actually. It was very sincere, and John said he’s seeing someone about his depression now, so I hope he’ll be feeling better as well soon. Please be respectful and don’t message John about any of the drama, as we are all trying to move past it and I don’t have any hard feelings towards him. Thanks <3

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 **Anonymous asked:** What inspired you to write “An Ode” Balthazar? Are you and Pedro dating?

_Are you sure you want to delete this question?_

_ok_

 

**Hey guys**

I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about my personal life, again, and I’ve already said on here I’d really rather not discuss hypothetical relationships between my friends and I. I know it’s all well intended, but it’s just not ever going to happen, so there’s no point talking about it on my blog of all things.

I’ll be putting a new song up some time next week, hopefully. Thanks again to all my amazing friends, I still can’t believe I have so many awesome people that love listening to my music.

_ursulafilms said: :(_

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 **benaddicktion asked:** HEY MAN so who can we set you up with seriously man ur BUMMING ME OUT. ur all “my brother betrayed me” and “im alone” now u used to be fuuuunnnnn.

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** I think I liked you better before you and Bea were dating, now you two end your fights by kissing and you’re obsessed with getting me a girlfriend. Did you ever think maybe I don’t want a girlfriend?

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** okaaaaaaaay so a boyfriend then?

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** pedro

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** peeeeddddddrrrrooooooo

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** oh my god pedro i obviously dont care if u like guys i was there for balthy im here for u SO. lets talk about this. remember u and john said u were gonna work on communicating? yeah. do that now.

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** if u really really want me to drop it for now i will but dont think we wont talk about this later young man

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** OH MY GOD. PEDRO. TALK TO ME.

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** This is a big deal okay? It might not be to you but I’ve been freaking out for weeks and couldn’t do or say anything about it because there was other more important stuff going on. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how and it’s just weird and I don’t know what to do.

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** hey man, relax. its totally cool. if u want to talk about it, im here for you. i know i mess around, but if u need to talk to someone, im listening.

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** It’s just like...I’ve never been into guys before, not until this year. And I definitely like girls, so I guess I’m bi? I don’t know Ben. I don’t know.

**benaddicktion asked:** i always knew u would fall for me one day  <3 sorry bro, my heart belongs to another

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** You’re disgusting. No, Ben, sorry, but you were not my sexual awakening.

 

 **benaddicktion asked:** look, man, so u like some guy, right? take my advice and talk to him about it. even if its scary. the worst case is that he isnt into u (which haha fat chance, someone turning down prince pedro [i mean ok yeah bea did but we know shes a special case]). but u will never know if you dont at least try, right??? isnt it worth the risk? unless u want to stay confused and moping idk maybe thats ur thing.

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** You’re a dick, you know? (thanks)

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**url change**

i was johnsnightmare, now as you can see i’m johndon. hi.

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i know i know you’re all thinking “john after everything why would you ever send another anon message ever again” but trust me on this one okay

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 **Anonymous asked:** Hey Pedro, are you dating Balthazar?

 **voteforpedro said:** Ben I swear to god, if this is you...

Anyway. No, I’m not anon. But I think I’d like to be. Balthy, if you see this...what do you think?

_bea-quiet said: HOLY FUCK WHAT?????????????????????????????????????????????_

_benaddicktion said: I DIDN’T EVEN SEND THIS I /WISH/ I’D THOUGHT OF THIS OH MY GOD WAY TO GO PEDRO_

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_ursulafilms said: I knewwwwww it_

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 **themightybalthazar asked:** Do you really mean it? I mean, I kind of thought maybe there was something last week when you told me you think you’re bi but I didn’t want to get my hopes up and. Oh my god. Do you mean it?

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** Of course I do. Come over?

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 **voteforpedro asked:** Hey. Thanks.

 **johndon answered privately:** i have no idea what you’re talking about

 

 **voteforpedro asked:** Sure you don’t. Still. Thank you.

 **johndon answered privately:** i deny anything and everything

**voteforpedro asked:** I know.

 **johndon answered privately:** i’m happy for you too. i think he’s liked you since year 9, so don't mess this up.

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 **themightybalthazar asked:** You’re 100% sure you want to do this? I don’t want to rush you, I know we’ve told our friends but this is effectively telling the world and, trust me, that’s a pretty big deal. I just don’t want you to regret anything.

 **voteforpedro answered privately:** Balth, I’ve never been more sure. I want everyone in the world to know that I love you.

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**Yes, anonymous, I am**

So a lot of you probably saw the posts my totally ridiculous boyfriend made, but I wanted to make an official post about it on my blog (mostly because I kind of still can’t believe it): Pedro @voteforpedro and I are dating now. So you can all stop sending me anonymous messages speculating about my life, thank you! <3

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_benaddicktion said: i feel like a proud mother right now its very surreal_

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_ursulafilms said: i’m so happy i think i might actually die_

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voteforpedro reblogged this from themightybalthazar and added: Rather than making my own post, I’m going to go ahead and reblog Balth’s. Thank you to everyone who has been sending kind messages and giving their support, you’re all very sweet. These past few weeks/months have been pretty intense, as I’m sure you all gathered, but I’m so so happy now.

<3

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 **themightybalthazar asked:** and before I forget, since I didn’t say it before: I love you too.

**Author's Note:**

> Changes from canon:  
> 1\. Claudio doesn't fuck up! Wow! Instead, John directly targets Hero (anonymously) to stir things up. Maybe a little convoluted, but I was just not up for writing Claudio's betrayal.  
> 2\. Ursula, Meg, and Balthazar all go to a different school than the others, but they're all still good friends (partly because Robbie still goes to Messina so they hang out with his football friends a lot).  
> 3\. I fucked around a tiny bit with who is bffs with whom, nothing particularly noticeable, but I made Balth a bit closer to Ben and Meg and even Claud and Hero than he appears to be in canon.


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